Zebra Cakes and Myth

“There’s more reality in an image than a word.” 

– Joseph Campbell –

It’s always hard dropping my son off Sunday nights after a long weekend with him. It always feels like it would never end. I have to share him with his mom. I learned to care more because I share more than I’d like to but it took two to make one and she is an awesome mother. I gave my son a symbol of our father and son dynamic, and a memory shared through one large zebra cake split in half.

Zebra packs, shared snacks, and memories

I never shared a zebra cake until the day my son saw me with one big zebra cake that’s so big it looked like I’m devouring a crater. It was forbidden to share a zebra cake before my son asked ,why? Well there’s memories attached to this snack that I haven’t shared with him. I used to put so much energy into earning one , helping my grandma take care of my great grandpa Willie before he passed away. I used to get one after doing several favors for granny. It was a great experience to eat a well earned zebra cake while listening to  my great pa Willie tell stories. 

He never mentioned slavery but what it was like when he was younger, he never really mentioned his age throughout the stories, he loved telling jokes, and I always will remember when he left money under my bed when my tooth fell out saying the tooth fairy paid me for my tooth. I don’t remember the stories too well now but for some odd reason I used to think he was more of a child than I was. 

Cleaning out his pee pod…

Helping him get dressed and in his wheelchair…

Also, watching my grandma feed him his food,

Cleaning his dentures etc.

Granny didn’t have to help me with any of those things except keeping the snacks high up in the pantry, I needed help with that often.

It’s strange that I never thought about it but I stopped eating zebra cakes when my great papa died. 

I question why I would do such a thing and it’s because it was a symbol, a signature bond that I had with him, there used to be two in a pack and I would share with him. 

He would never take it and he never told me the reason why he never took it.

I think I stopped eating them because the stories stopped like I only ate them because papa had a story every time I ate one. When he passed the grief wasn’t only in the tears but in the zebra cakes… I don’t remember the stories he told. I’ve let them all go but it’s not as important as what the snack symbolizes, my childhood work ethic and creating our tradition, which starts through storytelling and having something to work towards to receive it.

The Stories You Tell Me Now

“Memories are like myths, in the present the past doesn’t exist but through storytelling they exist throughout lifetimes.” – Midas Print

A snack and a good conversation is like surrounding a campfire and eating smores, the snack is the smores and the campfire is the storytelling, the imagination makes these things so…

  As a parent I realize stories are very important to my child and if you are observant they tell the stories that resonate with them mostly by giving them their favorite toy, monitoring them on what they watch, and playing whatever they invite you to play. 

It’s really great for learning just about anything. 

For instance, I have my son build a marble run project and add a theme, rainbow friends, he loves them. He is given the opportunity to express his idea of rainbow friends through building color coordination with marble run pieces. We bond so much more when there is a theme attached to the activity that he recognizes. He then verbally expresses the story behind each project piece for each color (Rainbow Friends). Another example is Sprunky characters, he loves telling me the names, colors, and the background story for every character. I can barely keep up but I support his obsession, I see his passion and I don’t discourage him. I support it so much I bought him a blank comic book and I encourage him to fill the whole page every Sundayafternoon.

I’m a teacher but I am a student when my son expresses himself through his interest. I learned that this teaches him vulnerability, sharing stories creates the space to be vulnerable without being pressured to do so. It’s like a calming wind that if you are silent you get the message and I’m focused on listening to help him create his world.

Make It Your Own 

I have been encouraging my son to create stories for himself because I understand how powerful it is to have stories that resonate with people and yourself. I’m starting him off with three affirmations of his choosing:

1. I am King of the world
2. I am a genius
3. I am a gamer

I love it!!! And he speaks of these things naturally and has a lot of these tools in place from having a PS5, doing exceptionally well in school and having insurmountable confidence. Now, I will eventually want him to make this his own, meaning he will have to define what this means to him on a grand scale. His own experience of creativity and expressions because this will help him tell his story not only in good times throughout life but in hardship and struggle in which I do sometimes put him through so that he becomes strong. As a father and someone who struggled because the stories I told myself in a negative light which weren’t true. I have this huge appreciation to encourage my son and other children as a teacher and mentor to initiate a story that you share with yourself and with others whether it’s with close friends or your social community.

The stories you tell yourself now should line up with affirmation,myths, and beliefs that you choose as tools to change the world leaving it better off than you left it. Creating a life that you don’t mind telling a story about regardless of personal flaws and failures. You succeed when you accept that failure is a catalyst for achievements.